How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
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after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
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Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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