Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Bring me that man meat
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
