I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
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Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
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We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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