Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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