with your own penis?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
