dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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