I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
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she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
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I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
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