She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
