I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
