I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
