she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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