I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
