You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
