she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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