This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You need Xanax blowdarts
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
