Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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