It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
