My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
