this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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