Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize