I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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