his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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