Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
