community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
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Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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