Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
