She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Randomize
