but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
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He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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