1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
