worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize