hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
