My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
