Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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