At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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