youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
