I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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