I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
