I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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