garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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