Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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