she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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