I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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