Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Dick very happy bro
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
