READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize