It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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