Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
