I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
There's even glitter on my cock...
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