im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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