At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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