Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
