i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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