His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
