I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
