My room smells like vodka and shame
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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