I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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