hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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