she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
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My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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