he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
