Your face is a jimmy john
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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