Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
