What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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