I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
