every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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