I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize