Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
