when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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