Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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