i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Did I show you my penis last night?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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